18/5/2020 A.D.

Extensive Hillside Repairs

We Need Your Help!

Due to a lack of inhabitance, our beloved Hillside is falling into disrepair. When Hillside opens this fall, we shall ask for your help. The wind and the weather have played part in the temporary destruction of our town. We hope that all citizens shall pich in the reconstruction effort, for this will(probaly) be a fun communal experiance that will encourage bonding with all new Hillside citizens. The paths shall be cleared out, the WSM built, and all houses reconstructed, along with all other things we come across. We thank you in advance.

-Squirrel, Chief Editor of the Hillside Chronicle

27/8/2020 A.D.

Hillside Mayor Elections!

Vote for the Next Hillside Mayor!

The mayoral elections are starting! In the article we will answer a few questions. One of the most important questions: Will online citizens get to vote and run for office? Yes, dear reader, online citizens will get to vote. However, Hillside officials feel that the Mayor should be in person to help our citizens in these troubled times. Another important question is: How shall the voting commence? Well, the mayoral candidates should announce it in disqus, then they shall write or record a speech and post it on the main page of the Hillside website. All citizens shall post their vote via disqus as well. We shall be eagerly awaiting your vote this election, and remember, if you don’t vote right, we have an insane asylum for a reason! Best of luck!

-Squirrel, Chief Editor of the Hillside Chronicle

10/9/2020 A.D.

The New Gym

HOA Votes to Open Gym!

The time we have all been waiting for has come: The HOA has finally agreed to make a city gym! As we all know, for years the HOA has been delaying the decision due to financial reasons, which may or may not include the fact that all HOA members live in luxury apartments in the best parts of town. But now, they have put aside their personal needs and will sacrifice their own wellbeing to make sure this town has a gym! It shall be located on Sassafras Lane, near the Murky Donut Shop. The official opening ceremony is this coming Monday! There is only one small setback. The HOA has posted a notice that states the following:

1. The gym is not for exercise
2. No one is to approach the gym
3. Avert your gaze from the wraiths
4. Disappearances are to be expected
5. Ignore the screams
6. DO NOT ENTER THE GYM
7. run.
8. Run.
9. RUN.

Like I said, only a small setback. The gym will be a place to hold big events, give lectures, and have an excruciatingly painful demise. I just can’t wait until it opens!

-Squirrel, Chief Editor of the Hillside Chronicle